at a loss for words

I cannot begin to adequately describe in words the emotions that I have felt the past few days or the things that I've seen. I'll never respond to the sound of a weather siren the same way again. I hope I never take for granted the gift of life and family and friendship after this.

Wednesday was just a normal day, or so I thought. I was woken up at 5 AM by the sounds of strong winds and thunder and to a dog crying downstairs who was scared. More than anything at this point, I was annoyed. I was supposed to substitute that day and had not gotten a good night's sleep. I needed that last hour or so desperately. My mom called me almost in a panic to inform me that it was only going to get worse. I had a text message from my sister, too. I immediately turned on the TV to find out school had been canceled for the entire day.

Jordan came over as soon as he found out school had been canceled. It was a seemingly normal day, besides the fact that we weren't at schools. Tornado sirens started going off around 4, but everything still seemed fine. My roommate, Jordan, and I got into the laundry room and watched the live feed of the storm coverage on the computer until the internet and power went out. We heard some wind and thunder, but nothing too alarming. We started receiving text messages making sure we were okay but were unable to respond because, as we would later learn, many cell phone towers had been taken down by the tornado.

At this point, we still have no clue about the destruction of this tornado. We had heard that "McFarland Mall" and DCH (hospital) had been hit. We start to hear that Krispy Kreme and Milo's are gone, as well as Taco Casa. As I'm hearing this, the pictures that are popping into my mind are nothing like the actual scenes. I'm thinking maybe a little damage, not completely leveled buildings.

Later that evening, we drove with some friends to get some friends who were stranded. Their town home was in the heart of the destruction. Their cars were undrivable. I had heard the coverage on the radio of the storm and had seen pictures that had been sent from a friend in San Francisco. However, the scene I saw that night is unlike anything I've ever seen before. It wasn't the city that I've lived in the past 5 years, the city I've grown to love as if it's my hometown. There were droves of people just walking.

I can't explain the lump in my throat when I realized some of these communities so hit were the homes of friends of mine. I can't explain the panic when I couldn't get in touch with these people. I can't explain what it feels like to see the places I frequented, these streets I drove on, these homes of people I know completely unrecognizable.

I can't explain how I felt when a close friend called to tell me one of his close friends didn't make it. Or when I saw a friend that I was extremely worried about. I can't explain the feeling of knowing that one of the communities so deeply affected was a housing authority at which many of Jordan's students live.

So many emotions. Such an outpouring of love from others. Such an overwhelming feeling of being held in the arms of the Father. So overwhelmed by His provision and faithfulness.

Continue praying for my city. I always saw things like this on TV thinking, "That may happen to someone else but never to me." I'll never take that for granted again.